I want to have your abortion
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize