i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
