ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
