ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
