she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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