i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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