i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
