dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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