Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
