We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
