Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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