you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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