Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
