Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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