hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
