Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
