i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
