32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
