I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
