I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
