32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
