Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
