nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
