not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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