I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize
