Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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