she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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