So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
