Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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