I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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