Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
