Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
