at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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