I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
