Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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