Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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