Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
