did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I FOUND THE LEGS
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
