i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
