Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
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