Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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