why didn't you poke me back
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize