I hope mine doesn't look like that
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize