ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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