have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Ketchup is God's man juice
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
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