doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
