and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize