Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
