At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
