He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
