I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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