Small penises have feelings too.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
