Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
So drunk its hurt
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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