There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
