with your own penis?
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Ketchup is God's man juice
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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