Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
