So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
