So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
