ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
i need some magic done to my vagina
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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