Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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