What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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