i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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