I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
