Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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