Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
